grace kelly

i am addicted to this song by mika. it's so catchy and it reminds me of the movie "what happens in vegas." i think that movie beats me watching enchanted twice in a row in a day since i saw that movie like 3 times within 2 weeks. but its good :)

im uncertain with a lot of things now but i must put my chin up and get through with everything. hell, its my burfday soon! and i am going skydiving mother fathers! i hope i dont chicken out X_X i don't think this birthday will be exciting as my other ones but definitely will be better than last years. yay!

dementia

my dad is literally driving me off the walls. he is seriously going through dementia or paranoia of some sort. last night he stood guard of the door so i cant get out...like seriously. i won't get into more details of my dad but he needs to chillax but i cant blame it cuz he's prolly senile or something. ughhhh i wanna stay with my mom but the whole moving out process is sooooo unflattering. idk we shall see where this leads because i feel bad shunning my dad for being so crazy this weekend but im not up for talking to him.

damn it, i dropped my guard and now i cant seem to pick it back up! poopers. my birthday is in a little more than week...idk what i wanna do for it. skydiving.

first F

i got my first F on a test in college. i don't feel TOO bad about it cuz the highest grade was a 76 so its gonna be curved so i hope that F turns into a C at least. whichever the case, i will buckle down and study harder. none of these Ds and Fs anymore for me.

worst week EVER.

ok this week has just been pretty crappy. lets recap shall we?

• pretty sure i did bad on my TIM test, pretty damn hard for an intro class!!
• thought about dropping accounting and i did
• got a C on my chinese quiz cuz i cant read instructions
• failed my astronomy quiz with a 4/10, WOW
• got into a huge fight with my dad so i slept over somewhere else
• sprained my pinky defending myself from my dad
• borrowed the boy's car to go to school so he had to take the shuttle to kaneohe and back
• dad suspended my cell phone but im smart enough to reinstate it :)
• ate a bunch of zippy's food to make myself feel better on friday
  
• found some dirty laundry and secrets that makes me feel uneasy
• feel distant from a lot of my friends D:

theyre in no particular order cuz it started to get sloppy after the academic fails. like i went to work with my pinky out cuz it was so sore and i was pretty darn pissy. it could only get better and it is picking up for the most part.

after the rain comes the sun..

flipping the leaf

starting from this moment i am going to be a better friend! if you got my back, ill always have yours through anything. please be there for me... i wish things were the way they used to be in hawaii, like when i first came back from vegas. it was really nice and familiar for the most part and now it seems like so many people have lost touch and went their separate ways. i miss it. but yeah, im going to be a better person and friend. i wish i could take a retreat for just a little bit to get away from life.

catch myself

today i made my first milestone. i cut hair! thats right folks, i cut a fricken mohawk wanna be thingy! cheehee. i didnt know what i was doing but it came out alright. oh and i must catch myself before i fall too deep into doo doo. so sad everyone is leaving in less than a week. i need to get doodoo brown cuz im hecka white right now. i hate all this hazy vog shit. its pissing me off.

random post, i know

update: NO leon, i didnt cut my own hair cuz thats fucked up. haha.

(ok this part right here is gonna be a little more personal cuz i need to vent and im too lazy to record it on my regular journal)
mr. man, you are such a sweet dude. too bad you remind me so much of dickface but just not as mean. from your chin hairs, dislike of tomatoes, the love of the water, twitches, hats, and a sibling 5 years apart. GOSH! the list goes on. you and i work together well but there is so much emotional baggage that comes with our "whatever this is relationship." i told myself to not fall but you are one smooth mofo. idk if what you are saying to me is sweet talk or what but im not sure if its working or not. please don't break my heart, i can't handle it anymore. you told me to keep my guard up since you don't know what you want so why are you treating me like this? its like you want to prove to the world you are easy to fall in love with but i want to prove you wrong. don't get too conceited now since two can play this game since i'm pretty damn vain as well. perhaps we're both in it deeper than we thought...

blue

wow its been awhile since i last posted something. school sucks as usual but im making the most of it. something kinda good happened in my life but now im not too sure. its making me feel really down along with other situations. its a weird feeling but ive never felt so alone in my life. its a constant nagging sensation in me thats depressing me. the urge to cry is overwhelming but my body wont allow it. damn it. im going to be so sad once the last of my mainland peeps leave. i miss all the ones that left so much!! i dont think i have ever missed my friends this much!

on another note, the economy sucks! last night at work no one wanted to tip well -_-

workaholic poker champ

all weekend long, i spent my life working. two of those shifts werent even by choice. seriously, how could two people be out of commission on the same day, thus, bumping me up from hostess to server on a saturday. UGH. whatevers, i made money but it sucked since i didn't even see any of my friends except for jen at phuket and when we went beach. anyhoo, sunday night i went to play poker with my coworker's friends. the stakes were soooooo high it was ridiculous! i was scared playing since everyone kept buying it with the minimum of $10. i didn't buy my first round but i stayed in the entire time. my coworker didn't get so lucky. by 1 AM, we decided to dig out and i was able to walk away with $65 :D i've never really won a big poker game before and i was so proud of myself! well, i really did have my coworker to thank cuz he was coaching me when he didn't have any cards but hey, i'd split it if he didnt have to owe me so much money lol.

note to self: please get that scholarship to UH asap! and deposit your paychecks.

to my fans...

dear readers,

thank you so much for reading my blog. especially kevin and leon for leaving occasional comments. i miss getting comments. yes, this entry goes out for everyone who reads this blog because it means you have some slight interest in my quirky life. at least it gives you folks something to do when you are bored online. and now i leave you with another LOLcat.

love,
michelle

PS: check out my new video on the left

what's your fantasy?

happy september!!! man the year is sure flying by fast. today is labor day and im stuck doing lots and lots of homework today. rawr. at least i had my share of fun on sunday!!

amanda, jen, and i did lunch for the first time in a long time at kit n kitchen. since sunday night was xyloh's baby blue and bling themed night, we were on a mission to find blue colored clothes. turned out jean's warehouse was 50% off all dresses, i should've both a bunch more. work was alright. i had a little apprentice to do all my work but i just had to supervise which sucks cuz i just watch patiently. xyloh was SO random. there were mardi gra beads, fish, glow sticks, a dance off, flying money, and a lot of haoles! hahaha so random! it was fun nonetheless. i left a little earlier to meet up with my coworkers at a bar and that was pretty much it.

saturday night i did basically nothing except get high off my mind. i need to stop smoking cuz its making me stupid. friday i vegged out at home like no other! i went to play pool like around 1 am with a friend and his brother, whoohoo!

now here is my philosophical part of my blog. there was something i secretly wanted but didn't care if i got it or not. but some random turn of events my so called fantasy came true. maybe it's not exactly what i had in mind but yeah. i wonder how things would be like now. i was never really good at juggling...

update: after some thinking today, what exactly am i good for? maybe some people just aren't who i want them to be and i do not believe in changing others to fit my lifestyles or vice versa. i guess i see where a certain person's intentions are and its always the same. time to do the right thing.