shoot me now

UPDATE: from the information gathered from WebMD, i may have strep throat. how?!?!

my cold/flu hit me like a train outta nowhere. monday i had a slight sore throat and figured it was probably from the msg overload on sunday, fine whatevers. however, monday night during work i got extremely light headed and i felt like i was floating...now i know something is wrong. tuesday came and i was sick as a dog. headaches, sore throat, hypersensitivity. holy crap, i never even saw it coming! today im feeling slightly better but still pretty shitty. the weather hasn't been in my favor either. stupid cold front or whatevers.

school has been confusing. i don't know what's going on for majority of my classes, not good. i just realized that i completely forgot about my USAfunds scholarship. i hope i can get it done by the first of feb or goodbye $1500, ughhh! shame on me :/ i feel like i came to the end of the rope for phuket thai. i let that job run its course and i am getting this feeling that i should quit soon. i don't think my manager likes me very much anymore. i get that feeling like i'm just a waste of resources cuz i screw up so much. this is definitely NOT my month.

chinese new year

yay for chinese new years!

last night luke and i had a grand adventure checking out the festivities in chinatown. my soul mission was to feed a dragon some money and get luck for the rest of the year. it was crowded and definitely having your shoes untied in the middle of the road is NOT a good idea. oddly enough, there were only ONE group performing lion dance while we were there. good thing though since luke and i kinda knew one of the guys who did it from dorkestra days. i told him to do a little dance for me and he did. woot woot, am i blessed for the year?? i hope so since i gave that group $5! luke got devoured by the lion and he started to freak out haha. walked aroud some more and ended up in a smoothie place. it was pretty good :) the place is called summer frappe, check it out the review on yelp. dragon whisker candy...hmmm, looked tempting but not so much lol.

today (sunday) i went to a lunch with awesome food. now i am gonna head out to a dinner. damn, imma get chubs.

built up nothing

i wanna mention the awesome saturday i had. it started out with a simple lunch with sunny, gina, and mel. after lunch i met up with darryl, luke, and jerry. the boys went to curry house for lunch and i tagged along for my second lunch outing lol. after lunch we went to queen's beach park area where we flew kites and played frisbee. i was pretty tired out but we went to the aquarium since we were in the area! yeah the aquarium was a lot cooler way back when. don't think we stopped there! we went to ice garden to get some shave ice. darryl had to drive since i was too pooped to keep my eyeballs opened. great day :)

anyways, back to the built up nothing part of my post. remember my garden??? everytime i see this person and whatevers, i get all excited and giddy. well, the garden texted me and i literally bounced off the wall. i hung out with him for only about 30 minutes and that anticipation and longing to see him kinda just went kapoot. im gonna reference 40 year old virgin right now. i put this person on the pedastole and once i kinda got a hold of it, its pretty overrated. -_- and now it is an end of the math boy saga.

i've been playing super mario for the past two days almost nonstop. so addicting @_@
also i'm stuck in a rut in another situation. i was so determined to do one thing and circumstances suddenly changed and it made me like...."fuck, stop confuzzling me!" oh yeah, can someone go with me to chinatown this weekend?? i really wanna check out the chinese new years event.

idiot

i feel stupid. more should've been done than said. my talk is really cheap. i really really dislike you. why bother believing me when i may not mean what i say?

this weekend has been ridiculously long. friday school was canceled for an imaginary storm. today is now sunday and i am freakishly bored already. i should start doing some homework since i work tomorrow night. we'll see.

i booked my ticket for chicago a few minutes ago. i am really ready to go get off this rock but something doesnt quite feel right. well, no regrets and this is what i've been yearning to do for the past month or so.

pig out sesh

so today i literally ate food for three hours straight. ridiculous! i had a great time with jeannie though. anytime with this girl is awesome, whether we're dancing a storm at the club or eating like it was our last meal on earth. this was how our night went...

i rushed to finished my homework just to go cruise with her. i was craving korean bbq (actually the sides to be exact) so we went to peppa's. jeannie ordered mandoo and i ordered the seaweed soup. neither one of us finished our food so we packed it up and headed over to starbucks for our routine coffee talk. both of us ordered the tea latte. we took a walk over to phuket thai so she can meet what's his face. while we were there, jeannie wanted to get some dessert or something. got a huge order of blueberry ice cream for free. then jeannie wanted something to munch on so we ordered the crispy calamari. when we got our calamari, there was an extra order of panang curry so we got that as well. holy crap, i only took a small portion of the curry and passed it on to my other coworker who was eating there as well. we struggled to eat the calamari and fought even more to finish the ice cream.

omg, ate so much food and now im barely able to move. i had a great night and now im feelin' pretty good. it is what i needed after a whole week of emo-ness.

i'm leaving

very self explanatory.

on another note, i think i only find comfort in random people. though many people are here for me, i just dont always find that sense of comfort. it's nice and it doesnt have to do with the person but just some people are so maternal or something that i just get a lot more relaxed spending some time with these people. idk if this paragraph made sense but yeah. so for anyone reading this, keep doing what you do because i need you most right now.

poker

last night i played poker with some guys after work. their buy in was $40!!! wtf right?? that is a huge buy in and i only made about $80 at work earlier. i was really reluctant to play but i did anyways. i was on a losing streak for a little bit but somewhere in the middle i won a bunch of hands in a row. CHEEHEE! i was really proud of myself because normally i would have someone coaching me on how to play my hand but last night i was really independent. i told myself to stop while i'm ahead and buy out around 1:45 am. i definitely made my last hand count. it was an ace and a two. i got an ace on the flop. it was pretty good since i knew the other guy had nothing. i think i had a full house because there were three 8's or something. whatevers! i won back my $40 plus $6. not bad at all.

walking home from my car i got stopped by a homeless lady asking for money. i was a little scared since i was on the only one on the street and she was following me almost. since i don't like giving out money, i gave her my leftovers from work. i wish she seemed a little more grateful for it but that's fine. strangely enough, i didn't feel particularly charitable. oh wells.

insomniac

it is almost 4:30 AM and i just cannot fall asleep. it's been like this for the past few days now. too much has been on my mind and it is all too familiar. after experiencing this feeling so much, i wondering why i just can't get over it. i want school to start again so i can feel more productive and keep busy. why can't i be stronger? i know i shouldn't wait around for people to come around but i'm always in denial. maybe i should seek counseling again. gah! someone please just swoop me out of this misery. it's not the situation that drives me crazy, it's just myself. i want to go back to church again because i find myself praying less and less over the past few months.

God, i know you are listening to my prayers so why does this always happen to me? please be kind to me for 2009.

chopped and screwed

its only been a couple of days into the new year and i've already been broken. this is the worst winter break EVER.

the last couple of nights were fun though. drank a lot at sarah's little birthday party. felt sick practically the entire day. then yesterday carissa lee invited me to a party in ewa. im so glad i went since i met a lot of new ppl and it was exactly what i needed to do. drank some more there and tried smoking but that was a fail lol. good times.

hello 2009!

my new year's eve was certainly much more eventful than i have opted for. after work i picked up sarah and we went to a sports bar with some coworkers. there she got mad drunk. took her home and went cruising with my coworkers and i went to the moon...hell i was at jupiter already -_-. got home and passed the fuck out haha. didn't get to watch the sunrise as i wanted to since i was so buss and it was pouring rain. that's ok. but this is a time for resolutions and i will try my hardest to keep them.

my resolutions:

1. get in shape for the GAR and life
   
2. find a purpose for the run and make it liberating once again!
3. STOP finding loser guys. time to do some real gardening and weed out all the toxic people in my life.
   
4. get an internship
5. be a stronger person, physically, mentally, emotionally
6. try and enter for ms. Narcissus
7. decrease the smoking
8. do not be afraid

update: i tried climbing koko head by myself today. total failure since i turned around at the bridge haha. can't wait for sarah's party! yayayaya!!