open heart

my love life is a mess.  i want to open my heart and mind again to the idea of a relationship but i'm so used to being independent (well, not really), that i'm not sure if i can be held back.  i'm moving so fast into work that i'd hate to check in with anyone and having to explain about work, etc. 

currently, as most of you know, i've been seeing someone for a while...long while.  but while i like him, i don't think i can ever love.  why i'm still playing around beats me.  i will eventually find my escape before i end up being too selfish and it starts becoming unfair to him. 

my love life is a huge tango.  i'm tired of dancing and i think i just need to find clarity and things will all fall into place.  i'm le tired.

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” ~Confucius

about a year ago, i failed my third attempt into getting into hawaiian airlines.  i felt dejected and was at a lost in my life.  i posted this quote by randy pausch from the last lecture on my fb.  

"The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people!"

this simple quote was the only clarity i had in a dark time.  flash forward a year...

i've never felt more grateful to be blessed with the best job in the world and moving forward to a life i've imagined i would have.  thank you God for everything and never letting me give up.

have you pursued your lifelong goals and dreams?!

dreams realized

hawaiian airlines just announced it's plans for a direct flight to beijing in 2014 and discontinuing flights to manila by summer of this year.  this is very exciting news, especially for my family, because they are that much closer to their home.  however, i'm not sure how i feel about working said flights lol..

anyway, this made me realize of the goals and aspirations i had in high school when i was writing personal statements for college; i am actually living what i want to do!  how great is that?!  i'm going to swallow my pride and post my essay on this from almost 7 years ago. below is the one i submitted for the hawaii rotary club which scored me a fat scholarship.  it's pretty short but i think that was what they wanted?!?! 

Since September 11, 2001, Hawaii’s economy is reviving steadily.  Just recently,

Hawaii has opened tourism to China, making it the second state after Nevada in the

nation to do so.  During the fall and winter months of 2005, Hawaii’s slow seasons, hotel

room occupancy was record-breaking.  This progression signifies that our state is

flourishing. Demands will soon be high for individuals to follow through in Hawaii’s

continuous growth.  I aspire to take part in the booming tourism industry at its peak.

Hospitality management suits my personality well.  I am very enthusiastic in all

that I do, especially when it comes to meeting new people.  As an active community

contributor, I have had experiences with diverse groups of people which enable me to

connect well with others.  I want to use my Chinese background and local upbringing to

open the door of tourism wider and entice the Republic of China to travel to Hawaii.

    

By receiving the Hawaii Rotary Youth Foundation Scholarship, I can pursue my

goals and dreams free from financial insecurities.  I hope to not only promote tourism

from China but to other regions of the world with the aloha spirit in mind.

hiatus pau!

guess who's back, back again?!

i went on a three month hiatus just to focus on work.  so far it has been great, especially now since i passed the biggest hurdle which was the comp check.  i'm so glad it was easy peasy and now i hope it is easy street until next week ;)

SEASONS OF MY LIFE (big girl changes):

• a thing that's been on my mind is how i'm such a homebody now!  it's depressing because i missed going out but i have to remember that i have responsibilities now...AKA rent, food, havoc, gas money, etc with my sad income for now.

•  in addition to above, i moved out.  i live in the west side (for me at least) that is known as salt lake.  it sucks in this area because it's so far from everything but on the flip side, it's only a 5 minute drive from work and i don't have to lug my bags across fort st.  there's always a silver lining to EVERYTHING.

•  the people i meet inspires me.  this is the job where i have over 1500 employees in the same department.  i work with different people every day and each new coworker inspires me to do better.  majority of them are so amazing and nice that it just makes me strive to be the same.  

• to all those that keep laughing when i say this, it's fricken TRUE!  "I CANNOT DRINK ANYMORE!"  i'm definitely a cheap date now.  a couple here and there and i am beyond good.  with that, i feel great not to have so much alcohol coursing through my veins.  i hate waking up in the morning after drinking (any quantity) and feeling bloated and gross.  

yup, that's about everything that's going on that i am willing to share in public.  

PS: i found my perfect station on pandora!  i think i enjoy indie pop music.  view video on the left.  lykke li - little bit

in a nutshell

it is NYE of 2013.  2012 has been AMAZING, seriously, nothing short of it!

i realized i am blessed with a great life.  no, a fantastic life!  i've been given so many great opportunities that i have to take a step back and count my blessings.  i know God has played a huge role in my life and allowing Him to take control has been the right thing to do.  when i was lost earlier this year, i had a "Jesus take the wheel" moment and it has never been better.   my friends, family, and coworkers have been so good to me that words cannot express my gratitude towards them. 

2012 has been real and i will be ending it in osaka and also starting it there!  i'm beyond excited for 2013 and what it may bring. 

i am not a failure...

...people just fail me.

happy december!

looks like another lonely holiday season is ahead of me.  luckily, i have the best people i can call friends and have the career of my dreams (although i am terrified because of probation).  it was a doomed relationship from the start but i've just been so curious to see if it would get better.  i gave too many benefit of the doubts.  it was exhausting and i was just hurting myself.  i should look forward and stop lingering on to a few good moments from the past and hope it will always be the same.  i am older and wiser now.

if all fails, i will get another cat.  they don't talk back and all i have to do is feed them for them to love me.  story of my life =P

hurricane sandy's luck!

happy november!!!

one month down, 2 and 5 more to go for comp checks and probation!  this is an exciting month for me because of my days on.  i have lots of days on at once so it means i have great opportunities for long flights!

hurricane sandy hit the east coast over last week and it devastated so many places and grounded many flights.  it was a terrible tragedy but thanks to her, i got to go to new york for an extended stay!  i was on the relief flight over and because of this special flight, i got to stay there for TWO nights instead of the usual one.  plus, flight was very light going over and i deadheaded back home in FIRST CLASS!  sweet deals.  i love my job!

this trip gave me the opportunity to see suveg, olivia, and christyn again.  i miss them a lot and it was surreal to see them other than hawaii.  i cannot thank them enough for taking my crew and i all over the place.  too bad chinatown and the financial district was still in shambles because it would've been nice to get some chinese pastries :9

it was damn cold there and i ended up buying 2 extra jackets.  i went home with 5 pieces of outerwear...pain in the ass to carry!  sigh, NYC, hope to see you real soon ;)