i'm in a glass case of emotion!

my break hasnt been as fulfilling as i hoped. this entire week has been very emotional for me for some reason. its like i have a reason to bitch about anything and everything. all i have been doing is going to the gym, work, or just sucking air. i want to just cry and let everything out but my body wont let me. maybe ill go sniff some onions later. whatevers

yesterday was fun except for the fitness test. jeannie and i went to makapuu to go hiking and from there we drove to waimea bay. yeah, it was a fucken long drive but well worth it. well idk, we spent more time driving than beaching which was kinda disappointing cuz i didnt get dark. i was super tired and i couldnt cancel my fitness test so i was a trooper and went. yeah, it was a near tears experience because that was the most intensive last five minutes of my life. i havent been pushed that hard physically....possibly ever. damn i am outta shape and now i am suffering. i have to work soon; they called me to come in early. fuck. this break sucks but i shouldnt complain too much because there are other ppl that have it much worse.

and another one

holy moly this shit is nonstop! i got ANOTHER ticket today!!! i was on nuuanu about to turn into the road where my garage is at and i saw the blue/white lights right behind me. i thought i ran the stop or something cuz it was a red light for me. really, it was just my registration that is expired. idk, it wasnt that big of a deal and my dad was with me so its kinda his problem now. he shouldve slapped that registration sticker the moment he got it!! and we're arguing who's fault it is for the registration. so gay cuz im not the one that gets the mail for the car -_- i guess i couldve paid more attention to the sticker but not like i could do much about it if my dad cant even find the fucken registration papers to begin with. seriously, its spring break and i have no fucken car to drive around with except my moms.

the weather has been crappy, i really really hope it doesnt persist. olivia is home and im really excited to see her again. its been four months since we last saw face. classes this week was a pain in the butt just cuz. im thankful for couple of ppls advice to get me outta the house tuesday night...THANK YOU. ummmm....yeah thats pretty much it. oh yeah, i signed my life away to the gym. at least my debit card lol. gonna get a beach ready body by summer....unfortunately not spring break -_-

senile

not much has happened since the last post. worked and cruised has been the highlights of my weekend. i am still watering the garden but i think im digging too deep of a hole cuz im starting to get bored. whatevers.

im currently working on my econ lab and my dad and i just got into a fight. he is getting senile and its driving me insane. i am trying my hardest to balance my busy life with his but its hard. i just want to do my own thing but i am so restricted. idk, he seems to give a shit about my sister more than me cuz he hardly sees her. my parents need a reality check because they bitch about her being spoiled yet they continue to do so without even realizing it. retarded...for serious.

i really need a break. maybe ill stay with my mom over spring break just to get away for a little while. idk, i just need to get away from my dad's short temper. and he calls me a traitor in all the wrong contexts. ugh.

limits, derivatives, continuity oh my!!

today has been one eventful wednesday.

i woke up early this morning telling myself i need to get my fatty ass in shape. i decided to drive down to magic island to jog and just beach it afterwards. i did just that. while at the beach i was debating to myself of what i want for lunch. man, economics seriously went to play cuz i thought of my marginal utility and which would satisfy my taste the best without costing me money. i shouldve bought that steak plate at ward for the same price of a bale sandwich and iced coffee from mcdonalds. damn it!

i went to class to find it was CANCELED! i had plenty of hours to kill before my math tutorial so i spent like an hour or so in the library trying to figure out my hw. when i left to see the school's math tutor i ran into my tennis coach! turns out he's going back to school so we just chatted for a little while. math tutor was confuzzling and afterwards i went to see my teacher for more math tutoring. holy crap, it was FOUR friggen hours of math. i still dont get them but whatevers.

after all that, i picked up ally for dinner! we ate italian, hot date you know ;) after that we went to nordstrom. holy crap i felt like a tourist! the new area was amazing and my jaws literally dropped. yeah, impulse got the best of me so i bought myself a hand bag for $26. i guess its worth it??

i need to focus more on school. not doing so hot. i think i jinxed myself already. FUCK. back to the DL.

A R

AR. i havent said that in a really long time. it means ass raped. yeah, i am getting ass raped in all sorts of positions by school. i guess i cant blame anyone but myself for letting procrastination get the best out of me. shit is just getting harder and harder and i really do try but its hard to keep up. like math, we are starting calculus and it is so damn confusing and my teacher does a crappy job teaching it. econ as well. this is my second week with another D for a lab. sighhhhhh...too many fricken formulas to memorize!!! history and religion have just been whatever and as of lately i havent been keeping up with any reading for history. yeah i need to start making use of my three hour breaks on tuesday thursdays. english, heh, idk about that class anymore just because i wouldnt mind getting a B in the end. man, my lack of motivation isnt gonna do my GPA good. then again the community college GPAs dont transfer to the university level so maybe thats why lol

yeah, that is pretty much school in a nutshell.

i bought an air freshener for my car. it is gonna smell PIMP but i still desperately need to wash it.

mere memory

maybe i say too much. i shouldn't have said what i said to you. i cant believe that i completely slipped your mind after what we have shared. it saddens me but why should it bother me now? i feel that i am always going to be someone's faded memory; i never make a deep enough impact for them to recap anything about me. am i so undeserving?? whatevers. i just need to get that off my mind because these types of people will never change.

goshhhh, life has been so emo! i try to make good out of everything but the situations revolving around me are depressing. people seriously need to grow up. i should follow my own advice as well. i shouldnt instigate anything.

across the universe

i finally watched Across the Universe last night. it was an AMAZING movie! well, it's pretty trippy and makes a great stoner movie. the music is awesome cuz its mostly beatles' stuff. it's a cute movie. i wanna fall in loooooove after watching it, like enchanted lol.

that movie kinda holds some meaning because i slept next to that movie poster all semester at unlv. it basically has a giant strawberry on it lol. the slogan, i suppose, is "all you need is love." that was the last thing he said to me and meant it. i think i can finally forgive you..

I wanna hold your hand...

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

I want you
I want you so bad
I want you
I want you so bad,
It's driving me mad...

haha three of my favorite songs from the movie :D

on a side note, they shouldve had a character named Michelle and sang that song. totally wouldve fit into the script! damn it!

tables turned

its funny how some things turn out in the end. karma is a bitch.

i am still sick. my sexy voice is kicking in and its almost in full force. you should hear me when i sing, that is BOMB!!! ;)

school is stressing me out, especially math since we are starting calculus and i have absolutely no experience with it at all. help.

ive been chowing down kind of a lot lately. so today i was craving an acai cup so i got darryl to take me to jamba juice. ordered the BIG one and ate it in like less than 20 minutes cuz im a fattie like that. and i got a steak plate right after. holy crap. well im taking a break from the steak plate right now and saving it for later but i am feelin a nap right now.

my fish may possibly have ick. fish can get that through stress and i think that stupid snail is stressing out my fiishie! they get into fights a lot. poor fella.

one sided life

yeah, that is pretty much all. infatuation leads to nowhere with me. the towel has been thrown.

i got an A on my math test so im stoked for that. i didnt get extra credit for english because i could not read 19 chapters by today since i procrastinated all weekend. i couldnt help i had such an awesome weekend!!! i got a D for my econ lab. figures since it was hard as hell.

i am sick as well. well, im basically hacking my lungs apart but without any other symptoms. i hope it doesnt progress to anything more.

oh yeah, and happy march! it is girls day today as well! man i totally forgot til just now...