cloud 8

its a start. just a few more kinks to work out before im flying to cloud 9

WEEKEND:

saturday
i woke up at 8 in the fricken morning to take my second gardasil shot, you know the one for cervical cancer prevention. that wasnt fun since i only had about NO sleep. i hate those shots because they are sore and damn expensive! $130 per shot and three are needed. gay. i had to work this morning as well. i enjoyed work today because it was really steady and relaxing. after work i ate at verbano for the first time since a coworker of mine works there. we got free desserts so that was cool. i wanted to go drinking but we ended up playing tennis instead. i was playing around with the rip stick, skateboard, and freelines. those were pretty fun and i felt made because i was able to kinda go on the rip stick and slowly getting the hang of a skateboard (barely) freelines, yeah that needs major work. another goal accomplished for this weekend :D now its time for bed since sunday will be nonstop work and homework. w00t.

friday
this weekend i am determined to make it jam packed. just friday alone has been more eventful than most weekends so far since school started. i went jogging and beach with jeannie. we tried kit n kitchen, it was pretty good and its fairly cheap. worked and met up with the usual bunch for like a few minutes. i hung out with math class boy. i know i always tell ppl i will go to populated areas but i ended up at a bar in kaimuki. it was fun even tho im not old enough to drink or anything but yeah.

WEEK
this week has been hectic with my million and one tests and what not but it has been well worth it. i have been chowing down way too much. gotta watch the calorie intake cuz i dont wanna balloon up again -_-. i finally know where diamond head lookout is because i power walked/jogged there from kcc with jeannie. its really nice being with different faces during school. i have gotten so much closer to a few people that its wonderful! i cant find these conversations elsewhere.

this weekend i am ready to rock out..im tempted to say with my cock out but since i dont have one ill save that until i steal a rooster from kcc haha. i will update to this post throughout my weekend. i wonder if anyone still reads this. whichever the case, it keeps a record of my life...story for the kids ya heard??

no use for a name

cant think of a witty title...

update: so right now it is 4:30 am TUESDAY and i am having trouble sleeping because i cant get two people out of my mind. i have my book opened to study a little for history but havent done so in the past 30 minutes.

ive decided to just completely leave my life in vegas. i believe i am just a mere memory there and there is nothing significant about it left except some wild and crazy moments. i can honestly say i dont really miss that many people there. that was just something i really wanted to say but i should really really be studying..gg. on another note, maybe you did make the biggest mistake of your life, mother father. i hope you know i get a kick outta your misery hahaha!

Monday
today i took my math test. it wasnt has hard as i thought it would be. actually, i am not sure since i skipped two problems but if i get everything correct i still get an A! tomorrow i have two tests i have yet to study for. get on it! i give up on school...is it spring break yet?? no, i want summer to come already lol. something delightful happened after my test which had me smiling and singing out loud for about ten minutes :D


i had to pick up my mom from the hotel but since i had time i went to my secret spot and watched the sunset. it was very peaceful. it truly made me realize that the sun will ALWAYS shine tomorrow. i looked down at the ocean and saw little fishies fighting hard to swim against the current. it reminded me of something hoodlum kid told me. "only dead fish go with the flow." yeah, im not gonna be a dead fish but whatevers. i tried looking for the green flash but i didnt see any...boo!


now i have to start studying because it is 8:20 and idk anything.

hot hot heat

i think this post will be one of those long philosophical epiphany personal expressions whatevers.

i wish i knew exactly what i want. it seems as though i am trying so hard to be in a comfortable position that it really isnt as comfy as i hoped. it is so hard to describe because how i felt over the summer is all coming back to me. i need to get myself out of this rebound mindset/zone. well...idk we'll see after this weekend i suppose haha.

everyone says love is unexpected and thats all dandy but i believe in being proactive, damn it! frick my only main concern is that i always seem to be playing with fire. as everyone might already know, i get burn in the end. something about it is just so addictive to just pursue something that hurts soooo good! wow i really am a masochist. playing everything aloof is harder than it sounds because i think i want the security that i have that person in my grasp.

fergie's song "clumsy" seems to be my theme song at the moment. how unfortunately...well one thing that i am hoping to change is stop jugglin'. i cant even juggling in real life and to be juggling while playing baseball or basketball or whatever sounds pretty darn dangerous. i feel like i took a wrong turn in life and i cant seem to find my way back home. i really want someone to just reach out and save me from myself.

in conclusion, i am an masochistic arsonist. ironic thing is that im scared to even light a match yet alone a lighter. go figure. time will heal my wounds...(ok totally random, the song im listening to right now has the word "nigga" every other word so its totally making me lose my thoughts) anyhoo, my new goal is just to just do my own thing and pass community college!

...and then some!!!

recap of whats been going on:

• school is kicking my ass, whats new?? im scared of burning out already -_-

• i am worried for 2.0, he seems to be losing his yellow color D:

• lupe fiasco's album rocks

• this girl quit from phuket thai so i might have to work more, goodbye social life

• how do i always end up with really really bad guys?? lost another one to the playin world but i still have tricks up my sleeve when it comes to having some fun with it...hehehe

• i think i have dandruff again...boo! thats ok i bought new shampoo :)

• wishing to be more one track minded...
  

• clubbing anyone???
  

pick up the pace!

hello there fellow readers. you have been dedicated with each passing mile.

today was the great aloha run. i had high hopes for it to be amazing and it was! i met up with sunny and melanie exhausted because i didnt get a good nights rest. we ran our first mile in eight minutes which was pretty good but then we lost sunny after mile two. melanie and i kept running nonstop. it was fricken ridiculous because i couldnt even do that senior year of high school when i was actually in better shape. towards mile 6.5 i lost melanie haha. i just had a smile on my face listening and grooving to power 104.3 on my zune. i wanted to sprint the rest of my last mile but i thought i was gonna fall over and puke. but crossing that finish line was fucken liberating. ive never felt so good and the smiles i had throughout the entire run were pure and genuine. afterwards we completely lost sunny but luckily she found her way back home. then we went out to zippys and ate food.

i am sore but in a good way. i am finally free...

he loves me, he loves me not...

totally the story of my life...

02.14.08

they say chocolate melting in your mouth gives off seretonin which has the same effect as though you are in love. highly doubt it cuz i ate a bunch of chocolates today and the only love i feel are handles. i think i had the best valentines day this year. tho i had the most emo-est week ever, it was very nice. i failed my econ quiz but thats ok! carissa wanted to go get lunch somewhere else so we went to bistro sun. it was so spontaneous that it was a lot of fun! kinda crappy tho ppl with flowers were walking around everywhere. work was fun too. lots of couples everywhere! i got treated to free dinner and cake! yummmmm. and my coworker gave me a cute card. aww so cute haha. so yeah, thats pretty much my vday :D <3!

02.13.08

i made the saddest purchase of my life: a tub of ice cream and a bag of chocolates. yups. i went running today to aloha tower. i had to stop and just admire the sunset. it was really nice and i watched the fishies swimming around. as the saying goes "it's manini." this week so far has been bittersweet. theres so much i want but yet my fickleness gets in the way. im gonna finish the card i owe jennifer for almost a month :X

02.12.08

today i actually knocked out in the library. i mustve been dead tired to fall asleep in such awkward positions. i took a test i had no idea about for religion and got an A! cheeheee! i feel like im back in the game cuz im rubbery like rubber cement says luke :D forgot what his definition for it was but yeah, i bounce right back! i had the best acai bowl in my life today but too bad it cost so damn much.

02.11.08

today i woke up groggy. but it was ok. i bought running shoes and i desperately need to break them in within a week. as i was driving to school i saw the strangest things on the freeway. a wooden crate and a plastic taxi sign. weird huh? class was boring as usual but i made nice with the two cutest guys in my math class haha. instead of doing hw, im spending my time talking to luke, my long lost buddy. we shall go church this sunday cuz i said so :P and this guy from aff, he seems chill but like a hoodlum so who knows :/

02.10.08

this week is pretty much single's awareness week building up to the DAY. ill just keep updating to this post til the end of this week. this is prolly gonna be the saddest holiday of my life but ill just treat it as any other day just with more chocolates and ice cream. i work on valentines day. whoopi doo. watch all the happy couples stuff their faces but its better than sulking at home and crying myself to sleep haha. im not gonna lie, i have a soft spot for my bad luck charm but as time goes by it'll get harder but til then, ill just play it aloof.

im very excited for the great aloha run. it might be my liberating moment to finally set myself free from ties that bind. i still need to get into better shape...and new shoes.

retail therapy

i watched the secret again for like the fourth time. idk, that thing really change my mind on so much after something traumatic happens in my life. happy thoughts only from now on!

also ive been pretty darn superstitious. i dont like to think im cursed but i just like knowing i have good luck on my side. i waited around in the rain forever on chinese new years waiting for the lion to pop out so i could give him my two dollars. i also wanted to look for a four leaf clover at kcc cuz they have a bunch of clovers there -_-. and at work today they had those good luck chinese thingies all around but the owner took them down!!! i was like wtf mate cuz i need it!

tonight i did some damage on my wallet. i did some major retail therapy but i didnt feel very satisfied. idk, i bought new slippers and two pairs of jeans but it just doesnt feel good! wahhhh maybe i just really want that coach thingy...

tomorrow i will run seven ish miles with melanie and sunny. man we are gonna be sore and dead. i gotta work tomorrow night as well. so sweet of danny to eat at my restaurant cuz i cant make it out. those good luck thingers better be back up!

my fish looks so depressed. i should really clean his tank but im so lazy! fafsa also sucks cuz it keeps denying my dad's pin so now they deactivated it cuz we overused it -__- die fafsa!
OH YEAH! i got scheduled to work on valentines day! well, its ok since its better than spending the night alone sulking but someone was saying its the saddest day to work since youre gonna be staring at all the happy couples. man i hope its busy that night so i can make money. i have all my money saved up but its good cuz i get to indulge and go on that summer trip!

take a bow

i cant believe this feeling has came back to me once again. i left las vegas to get away from the pain and here i am in hawaii facing the same heartache. who would have guessed the EXACT same scenario will strike me twice. they say lightning doesnt hit twice but i am living proof that one could be so unlucky.

karma, i am sooooo sorry for everything wrong i have done. please forgive me so i can find happiness again. im tired of getting my heart broken when i least expect it. ill never do anything wrong again...please just lift this curse from me. i dont want to be a magnet for this any longer!!! i am begging you to just let me finally move on with my life!

UPDATE! i think ill be ok :D thank you buddy for the very motivational talk. i will be ok because i am young and hot! haha. way to sound conceited but its what i need. i am stupid in situations like this but it is what it is and ill let it be. life goes on and im not gonna loath over this stupid shit. i wish more ppl could be like this friend. we agreed we're both so cynical about everything. wish youre back home. but yes, ppl take me out cuz i need it!

but yeah, karma im sorry! i love everyone and wish for your happiness. ill never wish for anyone's death again or scratch cars or whatevers! omg i love my life! this is the michelle everyone loves. I'M BACK!!!!

CB

today was the chris brown concert!!! yayyyyy! $80...X_X.
it was very very lively and fun! everyone was dancing and having a good time. me and sharon definitely did! i took so many videos and pictures that my camera died. i was getting sad. we were able to get close enough to see every muscle of his body. mmmm i wanted to jump on that platform! chris brown is beautiful and his dances are hypnotic. besides chris brown, i was pretty excited to see bow wow. BUT he was TOTALLY MIA!!! they didnt even announce anything about him or anything!!! i guess if i knew before hand that he wasnt gonna be performing i wouldnt be so bummed out now. boo. asia cruz performed as well. it was ok, her voice was very squeaky.

i am tired now and i have a butt load of hw to do. was the concert worth going to?? idk actually haha. maybe not $80 if bow wow did perform on the saturday show and not mine.

grand finale

first of february. whoopi doo da! time is going by pretty fast. a month has past in a flash. life is so short its crazy!

at work, it was sooooooooo slow!!!! i did not get a guest in over 2 hours. the whole time i just stood around watching all the guys stock the bar. i think total we had like only 15 tables, damn. BUT i made some good tips, amazing.

a bunch of us ate dinner at the yard house. i consumed about a thousand or so calories from the appetizers alone. holy crap, we took some pictures and i look like a fricken whale. im getting chunky again. totally going running tomorrow!

while walking back to the car, i wanted to check out one of the performers on the streets. bad idea. he had an annoying voice and he did some pretty lame basketball tricks. they werent totally bad but it wasnt super fantastic or anything. that guy was a big time hustler! he went begging for everyone for money and i thought it was kinda obnoxious but whatevers, ppl gotta eat. well, he kept saying "grand finale" in his squeaky voice and it just got stuck in my head for the longest time cuz ppl wouldnt stop mimicking it X_X

i have a quota i wanna meet for hw. i am so behind on it...sighhhh! i was suppose to finish my econ lab by tonight but i went on neopets and writing this. damn, i gotta get on it tomorrow. nonstop hw, running, laundry washing! crappy i gotta work tomorrow night. visit me damn it!!!

update: so me taking my time paying off my j walking ticket did NOT pay off. im actually over due on the payment so now i owe them $25 more. SON OF A BITCH. man, money doesnt like me this year or something. im losing money left and right. ok no more spending on NOTHING. im limiting my wants.