happy anniversary and then some

happy three years to my iDiary!

i feel that i do post a lot of personal information but what the hey, it's my fricken diary! just keep whatever you read hush hush ;) iDiary has been my keeper of times when i was vulnerable, during times of triumph, joy, sadness, and everything else in between. i feel that tmblr is the "in" thing now and it sure looks really fancy but i like blogspot the way it is :) i don't need all those fancy layouts and texts and pictures.

so it kinda sucks i work on christmas eve, christmas day, new years eve, and the day. i hope i get paid extra! for work, i decided to join a team for the hallmark aviation's version of "the biggest loser." the team that loses the most combined body fat over 3 months win. it's gonna be hard since i'm not the biggest so therefore, i will have to work twice as hard to get results showing. it's okay, i'm determined to be trimmed, tightened, and HOTT in a few months. motivation!!!

feelings: desensitizing is a good thing. my only problem, it leaves me confused.

graduation!

hands down, graduation day was one of the most tiring but one of the most fun days i've ever had! thank you everyone for making it possible!

MORNING:

• suppose to be at school by 7am, woke up at 7am
• boring ceremony, go figure
• sad my mom had to leave before i went to receive the diploma

NOON/AFTERNOON

• it was hot
• thank you everyone for visiting and giving me leis :)
• it was hot
• lunch fail at helena's but yama's definitely saved the day
• old stadium park has gotten ghetto and nasty, ask leon

DINNER

• nice day restaurant in liliha with the family
• lots of gifts, hugs, and congrats :3
• MSG laden food, i love it....meh
• discovering my 11 nephew/second cousin talks to his "gf" via email. geez!

LATE NIGHT

• ka for bottle service!
• drank to my heart's content as it was dylan's bday as well
• thank you trevor and leon for getting extra bottles
• definitely well worth the money spent :D
• tacos rico afterwards
• ktfo

SIDE BAR: pounded mochi for the first time the day after. it's hard work

martinis

so after a night of heavy drinking with amy chang, i think my mind got less cloudy. i swear that drinking is the cure for everything. over this week, with recent events into consideration, my mind has been so boggled by thoughts and my future, graduation, finals, etc. after last night, i see things in a clearer perspective. perfect! i look forward to graduation now. it should be really fun.

mr. bartender remembered me :) when i left bar 35, he personalized my good bye. *hand hearts*

seriously, i think someone roofied my drink because i was so gone. regardless, it was an amazing night and i wished it didn't end up in a drunken mess.

clear eyes

day two of dry eyes. keep it up!

i dedicate this blog to my buddy suveg pandey. after talking to him the other day, i feel better about life. heck, i always feel better after talking to him. he inspires me so much. despite his brutal honesty, he puts everything into perspective and gets me thinking outside of my bubble. thank you, suveg.

i cannot wait until graduation comes around. after that, all of this pressure will be lifted off my shoulders...

pandora

thank goodness for my discovery of pandora radio. my life would seriously be dull without it.

my teacher sent out the email to everyone in TIM 431 to read my paper. i'm so honored and ashamed at the same time since the grammar is terrible and everyone might give me stink on the last day of class X_X

i read through some of my older posts to get motivation to move on and boy i was really emo way back when. well, i still get that way time to time but it's not so interesting anymore. i'm taking it as it comes. whoever is reading this, please get me drunk this weekend. please and thank you.

so this is it...

i feel like dying. i feel like absolute shit. how could this be happening?!?! is it for real? i'm fighting denial and i am losing to reality. please...please, please let this nightmare pass. i don't think i can do this on my own. my support system, my other half, gone before my eyes.

there is no point to be sad and mope. i don't want to suffer like i did in the past. life always goes on. i will NOT believe in false hope and hope that it was their biggest mistakes of their lives. my heart hurts, my mind is cloudy, and my body is numb. i hate this feeling so much! i don't know how i will make it through the holidays and graduation like this.

as mr. coleman always said, "everything happens for a reason." the sun will shine for me tomorrow. i will be strong because i am. i love you but this is for the best...

tis the season

happy december!!!

christmas is definitely starting early this year. downtown is all decked out for the holidays early it seems. the lights are shining brighter compared to previous years :)

i've been feeling kinda blah lately so therefore i've been cooking a lot more! i learned how to make the old spaghetti factory's browned butter with mizithera cheese. it's actually really easy! so much for my diet...

i'm two weeks from graduating and i really cannot wait. it's gonna be amazing :)