put it off

i realize i've been putting off a lot of responsibilities lately. these are important stuff i should attend to but i'll put them in my pocket and save them for a rainy day. calling USAA and geico regarding what happened to my car should have been top priority but i'm like whatevers about it. ughh, what's wrong with me?! i need to make my car payment, pay for parking, sign up for great aloha run and warrior dash. holy crap, where is all my money going?! i spent a butt ton of money on my credit card bill lately and my checkings account went down down down :(

speaking of money, i miss having cash on hand at all times. waiting every two weeks for my paychecks might not cut it for me. however, i find myself charging things a lot lately because of my big girl's credit card. come to think of it, i'm not sure if that's always a good thing. i went from having $1 in rewards to $114 in less than a month. if you can imagine the caliber of my spending...yeah, it's not a pretty sight. i've also been saving a lot of money by eating at work. i love my job because they feed me well; our cafeteria is awesome!

cell phone: i miss my smartphone dearly. i'm having yelp check-in withdrawals. no lie, it's sad.

werk it

so i really don't think i work that much but it definitely feels like i do. i'm not sure what about it but i feel like i'm always at work. it's probably because i'm easily suckered into working split shifts...although only 8 hours total, spans a total of 12 hours of my life. the early mornings doesn't really help much either. so far, work at the sheraton has been swell, i get compliments from the servers a lot so it really helps my morale. i still think i'm getting fat but my savings from not eating out so often is great.

round two for my attempts for hawaiian airlines start 12/5. if i make it through, i wont know of the results until the day after christmas. i love how they ruin good moods that way. on my bday, the day after christmas, the usual. i'm scared of disappointment because i made it so far the last round that if i don't do as well this time, i will be very sad. i shall keep trying regardless :)

i got into an accident the other day...totally wasn't my fault but my beautiful car is all maimed now. it breaks my heart because it's my baby that's all scratched and damaged. fucken military white trash piece of shit cunt face! i called my insurance and they said i have to pay a deductible regardless and that's like $500! i'm putting off on taking action until i could figure it out. sigh, it's so depressing to think about.

thanksgiving is tomorrow and it's gonna be the second double shift of the week. i love to work apparently. work is taking over my life. someone send me a turkey dinner plate to the airport and a stiff drink, thanks.

straight up

apec has been nuts! today, i got diverted twice on the road, car violated by being searched, running late for work, and being irritated by chinese nationals. holy crap the chinese...i've never been more shame to be chinese after dealing with those funkers. they act like they own the place. wtf. also, what did you know, the apec isn't bringing as much money as anticipated. go figure.

work has been great, i'm truly enjoying it but my fears of getting fat is real. free food is dangerous...especially if it's delicious. i feel so lame for not going out anymore because i work so damn much. it's not even like i work THAT much but it's everyday that i have to be somewhere. i work all the hours people do not work so it gives off the illusion that i am working a lot.

is this what a downward spiral feel like? my life is so complicated and i am torn. i hate feelings. that new j cole song "work out" reminds me of my life...sorta. haha or maybe it's the paula abdul version of that song "straight up."

obsession

happy november!!!

it's been 3 days of training for my new job at the sheraton. waking up and getting to work before the sunrises is brutal. i do like it because i feel so productive after getting stuff accomplished! the job has it's challenges and i'm working with big time older timers...like people working since the opening of the sheraton waikiki. those guys have been working twice as long as i've been alive! geez! it's been good so far and everyone has been friendly towards me so it's been fine :)

i think working out is an obsession. i was looking at the wall of achievements at 24 hour fitness kapiolani and it's kinda gross looking at some of those bodies...it doesn't look healthy. those people have serious body image issues. i think if people over-do working out, it's just bad mentally because they cannot see how perfect they are already. well, i can't say much because i'm one of those people. i'll never have the perfect body i've always wanted without plastic surgery so i'll accepted. my body, my accomplishments and i'm proud of it!