little japanese girls

today was my "volunteer" thingy with big brothers and big sisters. i had to take a group of japanese high school students around; basically walk them from waikiki to ala moana. for the three hours i get paid $50 (my only incentive). let's just say this was a great experience and i felt almost bad for getting paid. i had a group of ten girls and they were SO CUTE! well, maybe they weren't the most prettiest but they had great personalities! they kept complimenting me how pretty i was and such and asking me questions. i ran into a classmate of mines in waikiki and he gave me a hug. the girls were all ooohing and ahhing and asked if he was my boyfriend. adorable. the walk was freakishly long and definitely tiring. they gave me a present in the end and i thought it was so nice of them. because of the gift, i felt terrible this gig was for money. i started to miss my girls after we parted ways almost immediately since our three hours together were spent bonding and walking. i will definitely do this again!

astrological truth?

today's horoscope 10/27/08 - libra

A personal relationship that you've been struggling with will finally start to feel like it's back in balance again today. They had their issues, you had yours -- and now it looks like you are both back on the same page again. Try to get together with this person today and just be normal with them again. Keep the conversation light, and don't rehash the same things you have been rehashing. You both need and deserve a break from all of that heavy, introspective stuff.

man this stuff is usually on the dot. i dont like believing in them but i just cant help but wonder.

so earlier today i was talking to sheldon...well more like complaining about how so many good things leave me. he sent me an inspirational fortune cookie text. :D "Good things don't leave you in the end. I'll be back." AHHH! sweetest thing EVER. he's seriously the ideal boyfriend in my books. guys should take notes on him

if i were a boy

this is beyonce's new song and it is SO true. i wish guys and girls can switch places for a bit to see how hard it is to be the girl in the relationship since girls aren't programmed like dudes. after listening to it a few more times i cried. blehh, what a softie. ciara also made a similar song "like a boy." it basically has the same message but in a hip hoppity way. man, life would be easy being a guy, then again, maybe not.

this is the best text message i had in a super long time from leon. "then life would be too easy."
why is it so good? its so simple yet it is straight to the point. i really like when people just straight out tell me things. another good example is suveg's "you're an idiot" speech. love it!

j'adore moi

life is starting to pick up. im leaving certain pieces the way they are and i've basically stopped caring so much for them. man, this post is giving me de ja vu of another post when i went through similar experiences. geez, my life is so repeitive lol. the weekend is finally here and its been a damn long week. i need to get packing to move over to my moms place but the only humbug thing is the car issue. i would have to walk back and forth to my car at my dads which basically defeats the purpose of me going to my moms its so i could have more freedom without walking around middle of the night -_- i love this. hmm...im so excited to see where the future takes me.

oh and just for fun, kevin sent a link of a youtube video to a few ppl via EMAIL! i thought it was SO CUTE cuz its like what old people do...send little random fun emails to everyone :P

ill definitely update more later. until then, over and out :)

save me

this is a very personal blog. it involves the people i care most for...

i've never felt more alone in my life. sure, i've felt this way in vegas but at least i knew i had friends from all around who loves me and a family welcoming me back home with open arms. now its a complete 180. my dad has recently turned physically abusive on me since he has a problem with me when im home and when im not. he's been kicking me out of the house and hitting me with anything he can get his hands on. him being my dad and super old, what could i really do but defend myself?? im too scared to hit him back since it might cause real damage but my body has been battered by this crazy spree of his. im scared just to be around him when its night time because he is another person...like a werewolf or something. moving to my mom's place won't help a lot either. the apartment is small and clustered. my mom is almost never home due to her restaurant job and my sister is always with her boyfriend. basically i'll be by myself most of the time. my friends, well, i feel so distant from everyone. its nothing how i came home to now. they say "who cares about family when you got friends." it was true at one point but not so much now since i dont even know who's got my back. i hate to say this but all the stupid drama that's been happening within our group of friends has clearly split up everyone. i feel like im caught in the middle of the split with nowhere to belong.. the boy? let's just say nothing is set in stone with him. i can't believe i let my guard down for a short while to find i should've kept it up all along. he has been my saving grace since this has all started but i still refuse to let him be that impacting to my life. i am an emotional wreck right now. i was so close to letting my demons get back to me but i know its only temporary relief. how do i attract so much trouble? why does the worst seem to happen to me? maybe i'm just overexxagerating but it seems as though i always face hard times. i dont know what else more to say. im sorry for this very personal rant and if you made it to reading it, please don't feel sorry for me. just be there for me cuz i need you more than anything else.

ms. ginoza

if you guys don't already know, i love my fourth grade teacher, ms. ginoza. she has inspired me in so many ways but unfortunately i cant remember them all since it was so long ago. usually when i have something for school to write about a teacher, it would be her. i just had a really great fourth grade experience even though i dreaded having her at first when i've heard stories. it was such a nice surprise bumping into her again in my elevator since its been so long since i've last seen her there. yeah, she lives in the same building as me since i first moved there. she mentioned that she won an award for my letter i wrote about her back in high school. thinking hard and way back, i did. i wrote a letter to my favorite teacher for lex brody's "thank you very much" competition. my name got inputted into the registry and she got nominated for an award which she won. how exciting to know my letter has won my teacher an award :) i don't know what else to say but THANK YOU MS. GINOZA! i can't think of another teacher which such impact in my life.

soundtrack of my life

i really hate katy perry's song "i kissed a girl" but i love all her other songs. it matches my life SO well. i really like her song "i think i'm ready" and "i'm still breathing" idk, who would've thought she could sing so many cute songs about love when she kisses girls with cherry chapstick. go figure. i am still in love with the maroon 5 cover of "if i fell" it is the perfect song of the moment. it's always on replay nonstop. i hope these songs don't fail me cuz i get giddy listening to them.

im glad i got the emotions outta someone but in a not so good way. i need to learn to rephrase my thoughts into something that makes sense. i hope i can make it right cuz i actually feel really bad about it. if anyone noticed, i hardly say "sorry." i say "my bad" a lot because i don't wanna desensitize the word. but i think i might have to bust out that word X_X. damn.

TIM 101 is still kicking my ass. i studied all today for it, kinda. i went to the gym and walked off 300 calories in 2 miles and read over 40 powerpoint slides. gg. i WILL do well on that test! because of TIM, i am neglecting my chinese test that is actually tomorrow. blahh school! it blows.

the big 2-0

THANK YOU to everyone who has written on my wall on facebook, text messaged, called or anything to wish me a happy birthday! i really appreciated it since my family forgot lol. oh yes, thanks for all the wonderful presents!! thanks for keeping it simple since that was all i asked for. it was the most eventful birthday i've had since maybe high school.

recap of my birthday:

• i had trouble sleeping the night before so i was up until 4 am just praying to fall asleep
• went out bright and early to eat breakfast
• went to school, good fun...not really.
• ate at verbanos with my buddies :D thanks for dinner and cake(s)!!!
• won best outta 7 games of pool. who's the champion?! i am.
  
• met up with my coworkers since it was my boss's birthday like the day after mine or something
• took 7 shots and was feeling pretty damn good ;)
• got 3 hours of sleep and went to school the very next morning like a trooper.

ill add some pictures later. but anyways, THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS BIRTHDAY MOST MEMORABLE!!! I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE FRIENDS LIKE YOU GUYS!!! LOVE YA! <3

silly family

i had a hunch my family forgot it is my birthday tomorrow. below are the conversations i had with my family about ten minutes ago.

me: "hey daddy, what day is tomorrow?"
dad: "its the 7th, tuesday!"
me: "yeah, so what day is it??"
dad: "tuesday, check the calendar, wait let me look for my clock"
me: "WHAT DAY IS IT!?"
dad: "it's the 7th!"
me: "ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!"
-then he starts talking about HIS birthday which is a few days after mine...

me: "hey mommy, what day is it tomorrow??"
mom: "its tuesday right?"
me: "annnnd??"
mom: "wait hold on" *puts me on hold*
mom: "its the 7th, tuesday, what about it??"
me: "omg, its my BIRTHDAY!! you forgot AGAIN?!"
mom: "ohhhh thats right! invite your friends to the restaurant for dinner!"
me: "too late i have reservations..."
mom: "im busy right now, ttyl bye"

me: "hey what day is it tomorrow?"
sister: "idk tuesday?"
me: "soooo what day is it?!"
sister: "its the 7th."
me: "so what day is it???"
sister: "ITS TUESDAY the 7th!! i dont get it!"
me: "WHAT DAY IS IT?!?!"
sister: "shit idk! the 7th!! your birthday???"
me: "YES!!! wtf you forgot too?"
sister: "when was the last time i ever celebrated your birthday? i don't do anything on mines."
me: "at least i remember!"
sister: "your birthday is weird,10/7 to 5/5"
me: "at least say happy birthday..."
sister: "fine ill text you at midnight"
me: "good enough."

seriously...at least im here in hawaii to drill them about it, better than last year when no family member called me to wish me happy birthday. i had to call a couple of days later to remind them -_-

just a post

yesterday was fun. gina, mel, sunny, and i went hiking. for a supposedly easy hike, it was pretty damn strenuous. i was watching my sweat drip from my face lol. we met up with ally and ate lunch. it was funny since all of us weren't that hungry and wanted something light but we ended up at CPK -_-. it was nice to have a girl outing again since its been so long.

work has been pretty good the last couple of days. friday night was super busy and i was able to make a lot which was good. saturday wasn't as fun and i was dying kine tired. but after work i went to a bar and yeah, im pretty much falling asleep as i write this right now. i'll add more to this post later but i'll leave you with this song that i am currently in love with. oh adam, you make my heart melt...



update: today i just feel so lethargic. like i told myself to go to the gym but my motivation basically hit rock bottom. even now i feel so empty. idk why i feel like this as of lately. my viewpoint is like this to everyone and i dont know why but i really dont like it. perhaps i just need a hug and get over it.