in a nutshell

it is NYE of 2013.  2012 has been AMAZING, seriously, nothing short of it!

i realized i am blessed with a great life.  no, a fantastic life!  i've been given so many great opportunities that i have to take a step back and count my blessings.  i know God has played a huge role in my life and allowing Him to take control has been the right thing to do.  when i was lost earlier this year, i had a "Jesus take the wheel" moment and it has never been better.   my friends, family, and coworkers have been so good to me that words cannot express my gratitude towards them. 

2012 has been real and i will be ending it in osaka and also starting it there!  i'm beyond excited for 2013 and what it may bring. 

i am not a failure...

...people just fail me.

happy december!

looks like another lonely holiday season is ahead of me.  luckily, i have the best people i can call friends and have the career of my dreams (although i am terrified because of probation).  it was a doomed relationship from the start but i've just been so curious to see if it would get better.  i gave too many benefit of the doubts.  it was exhausting and i was just hurting myself.  i should look forward and stop lingering on to a few good moments from the past and hope it will always be the same.  i am older and wiser now.

if all fails, i will get another cat.  they don't talk back and all i have to do is feed them for them to love me.  story of my life =P

hurricane sandy's luck!

happy november!!!

one month down, 2 and 5 more to go for comp checks and probation!  this is an exciting month for me because of my days on.  i have lots of days on at once so it means i have great opportunities for long flights!

hurricane sandy hit the east coast over last week and it devastated so many places and grounded many flights.  it was a terrible tragedy but thanks to her, i got to go to new york for an extended stay!  i was on the relief flight over and because of this special flight, i got to stay there for TWO nights instead of the usual one.  plus, flight was very light going over and i deadheaded back home in FIRST CLASS!  sweet deals.  i love my job!

this trip gave me the opportunity to see suveg, olivia, and christyn again.  i miss them a lot and it was surreal to see them other than hawaii.  i cannot thank them enough for taking my crew and i all over the place.  too bad chinatown and the financial district was still in shambles because it would've been nice to get some chinese pastries :9

it was damn cold there and i ended up buying 2 extra jackets.  i went home with 5 pieces of outerwear...pain in the ass to carry!  sigh, NYC, hope to see you real soon ;)

birthday and probation

happy october and birthday to me!

it's a bit belated but so much has happened.  first off, i have successfully completed the initial training to be a flight attendant for hawaiian airlines.  it was one of my proudest moments.  a couple of days and neighbor island flights later, it was my birthday.  alas, i was too exhausted to celebrate jack shit.  i'm thankful for my friends for taking me out to dinner and desserts.  hands down my most unpretentious birthday since i started celebrating my birthdays with others. 

i wish i was as lucky as some of my classmates to have traveled far across the globe but i know my time will come.  patience is definitely a virtue.  i am waiting until my seniority actually matters lol.

probation has been on my mind.  my employment is so volatile that i am scared to even go into work sometimes.  i know i need to be strong and just smile for the next 6 months.  i've tried so hard to get to where i'm at, i know it will be worth it in the end.  it's all in my head!

the honolulu marathon is around the corner.  i have yet to train for it.  i doubt i will do much and i'm not even sure if i will actually do it.  goal is to do it within 8 hours.  it seems like a reasonable goal for no training.  challenge accepted?!  haha.

and the numbers drop

four weeks have past for the flight attendant training.  within the past two weeks, four of my classmates had to be let go.  this is so depressing because we got close with each other and to see them being drop from training is so sad.  i know we will keep in touch and see each other again but to not continue the journey with each other is discouraging.  regardless, i am more motivated to work harder for them.  it's crazy how much emotions one could express for people they only know for a few weeks...


it is finals and comp checks are next saturday already.  i'm so close to being done!  each day, i thank God for blessing me with this opportunity and look forward to each day of class.  i can do this!!!

in the meantime, i love this taylor swift song!

white rice

training is everything everyone had told me about.  the hours are long, the information is dense, there are exams daily, and sleep is a luxury.  despite all the hardship, i am enjoying every minute of it!  it is overwhelming time to time but i know i can do this!  the instructors were right to say to take it day by day because their training is a well-oiled machine by now.  it will all make sense in the end.  also, i'm very simple minded so it helps that i don't over analyze things haha.

to save money, i've been packing home lunch from my mom's restaurant.  i get restaurant style food everyday (but it's cold because i don't have microwave safe containers), but there's white rice in every meal.  this is the most white rice i've eaten in months and it's only been ONE week.  something is wrong.  i think i'm going to buy my own bag of brown rice for my mom to make.  classroom life is very sedentary so i need to watch what i eat before i balloon up and become my own flotation device...sigh.

you really cannot judge others because some of my classmates are party animals...who knew?!

dress the part

yesterday, i went to the pre-training meeting.  my class is FOBulous.  not even kidding.  i think 80% of the are born in a foreign country.  no biggie because they're all really cool.  i got my training uniform and today i did my real uniform fitting.  it's amazing.  i felt like a real FA after trying on their blue uniforms.  i can't wait!

i need to practice doing my hair.  apparently, a hair net is needed if the hair is to be tied into a bun.  crap.  i think i'm gonna cut it all off.  one less thing to worry about! 

today, i bought myself some coach glasses!  yup, GLASSES not sunglasses!  i feel so...sharp.  i don't plan to wear them often because my vision is still pretty decent so we'll see if it was worth the $120 investment hehe

pre-training jitters

i just received my welcome packet for training.  reading it through scares the shit out of me.  the expectations are high and any failures could result in my dismissal.  the terminology alone is intense.  thank goodness i've been working at the airport because i am familiar with some of them if it's word by word, i better study harder.  i know i can do this!  i have my heart, mind, and soul set for this.

finally!

happy august!

after four tries, i have finally gotten into training for hawaiian airlines!  it didn't feel real until i passed my language test.  once i got the email with the good news (and i did pretty darn well), i couldn't contain my excitement.  i hope this will be the start of the rest of my life...

i was reading some of my past blogs and it blows my mind how much i used to work!  i knew i worked a lot but i don't think i could work as much as i did about four years ago haha. 

as of late, i got bumped back down in the seniority list at the sheraton.  my coworker decided to transfer back, no one even knew she could do that!  pretty lame but at the same time, i will be off to bigger and better things.  mostly night shifts and doubles for me again...joy.  i could use the money, however, because once i start training, i will have no income for the next couple of months.

i have no idea how people can party every weekend.  after one weekend of partying, i am seriously partied out.  i cant wait to spend my weekend relaxing with havoc...totally not a cat lady!!! 

God's will

wow.  this has been an intense past two weeks.  so much has happened that were both good and quite crappy at the same time.  i wonder if God is testing me.  when life gets difficult, i can't help but think this is just a speed bump to get me to where i'm suppose to be.  everything happens for a reason.  looking back at all of the hard times i've endured, and there were a few, i've noticed i've gained so much from those experiences.  it had made me into a stronger, wiser, more motivated person.  my emotional roller coaster ride right now might be a foreshadow to my future ahead.  this is what i am hoping for but then again, shit could just hit the fan instead.  this is my "Jesus take the wheel" moment.  i will let Him guide me to where i need to be.

i will be strong for myself, my family, and friends.  i can do this.  i will succeed.  it is my destiny to do well in life.

insta-whoring

happy july!!!

exciting things are happening this month and i look forward to it!

so after forever, i finally got instagram.  it's seriously like facebook and i dont wanna get addicted.  time to warm up my cell phone camera for taking pictures!

this year, i have to work on the 4th of july.  it's okay because the $.99 kirin drafts at gyu-kaku will help me power through my night shift! 

not too much has been going on lately, just trying to juggle with life and all it is.  my goal is to remove some clutter in my life.  life IS too short and i need to make the most of it. 

father's day/crazy life

life is more interesting when there's drama, right?  i think i was desperate for some excitement and got caught up in a real sticky situation.  i need to stay strong and focused to what i want and not fall for anything stupid.  this is so unlike me to get attached to anything so quickly.  snap out of it!  this is how people get hurt in the end. 

father's day was a huge success this year.  i took my dad to bluwater grill in hawaii kai and the restaurant sits on a million dollar view of the marina.  gorgeous.  i wished i could say the same for the food because it was pretty junky.  i wish i had more time to spend with my dad.  my life is so carefree right now that i don't prioritize things as much as i want. 

other news:

havoc gained two pounds since his last vet visit.  he's quite the heffer and i'm not having it.  diet time for him and me!

pretty soon i will have more shifts at the hotel.  i'm excited for more hours but at the same time, being on call has gotten me stuck in a lazy funk.  i will get used to it eventually :)

i think there's a slow leak in one of my tires.  i brought it to the dealership TWICE and they found nothing wrong.  not cool.  i feel bad for wasting their time because they're not getting paid for it lol.

green eye monster

as keri hilson puts it in her song pretty girl rock, "jealousy is an ugly trait."  i will look into the positives of my life and won't compare mines to others.  we've all got our own problems...why be jealous of their opportunities when it comes with baggage as well.  my only solution is to not dwell on others' fortunes but to be proactive and create my own.  right now i'm comfortable where i'm at and i know that won't get me anywhere.  the best thing for change is to step out of that comfort zone.  i can do this!

could you believe it's june already?!  half way though with the year.  incredible how fast this year is going by.  i feel like everyone is getting married or having babies.  it's like they think the world is actually ending in 2012 so they're doing everything on their bucket list lol.  i'm too selfish to have a kid now.  i love to drink and eat raw fish too much.  'nuff said.

stay with it

happy memorial day!

i feel like i'm gaining weight again.  i should stop drinking so much.  last night, i help drink almost two, TWO bottles of tequila with about four other people.  yeah, that's a lot of alcohol and that's not including the beers i was drinking as well!

in regards to alcohol, i'm so exhausted from my weekends.  it's been nonstop work and parties.  i complain when i don't go out enough and complain when i go out too much T_T.  nah, it's been a blast these past few weeks and i've never been happier :)

something scary happened.  i hate conflict and i hate people that are short tempered.  i need to stick to what i believe in and work with it from there.  the goal is to stay strong!!!

top reasons why i wanna be a boy

after today, i think being a boy is much easier than being a girl...

• guys need less maintenance in the grooming department.  sure you guys get haircuts more frequently but you don't need to shave, wax, upkeep other areas of the body other than the head...lucky bastards 
 

•  dressing is easier.  less pieces to wear.  who needs to really accessorize if you're a dude?!
 

• pee pretty much anywhere.  the world is your toilet...nuff said.

• men look better with age.  eg: george clooney and brad pitt. 

• if i was a boy, i could dress up as thor for halloween!!!

btw, avengers was amazeballs!  i wanna watch it again ;)

bruises

happy may!!!

time is flying!  i can't believe it's may already! 

not much new has happened since the last post.  on 4/28, saturday, i had an epic night!  one of the most fun i've had in awhile and no hangover and no ill-feelings the next day.  winning!  it started at bikini cantina with coworkers from the airport.  it was fun drinking mai tais on the lanai over the setting sun....gorgeous!  afterward, i headed to uncle bo's for phuket thai's coworker's bday.  shortly after, i met up with peeps at vice.  all this fun and too much alcohol in 6 hours!  i think that's a score in my book for a good night of a grandma like myself.  sunday i will permanently be working the stupid early shifts (5am) until indefinitely.  my life is practically over on the weekends, sigh!!!

i've been on call a lot lately from the hotel because it's been slow.  this sucks because that means less money in the bank and a lot of bored days.  today is wednesday and i have not worked since sunday...ugh.  at least this gives me a lot of time to go to the gym.

kapiolani has finally reopened from their renovations.  it's still very much under construction but the group x room is all spankin' new.  however, with new flooring comes consequences.  during an intense tkb class on monday, the first day the gym reopened, the floors were like a slip n' slide.  think working out at ice palace.  yeah, that slippery.  i was trying to do a burpee but my hands couldn't catch the ground and i ate shit.  i landed knee first.  it was kinda cool cuz as i was falling, time stood still for just a moment and it sped up to real time when i landed.  my knees are still sore and bruised up and it reminded me of a song i loved. 

gung ho

it's been awhile since i've blogged.  i finally got my computer back!  thank you mother. 

allegiant airlines was a half fail.  i didn't get rejected (good) but they're not basing out of honolulu (bad).  that leaves me back at square one.  great lol. 

janelle has her own apartment in my building.  my mom and her are splitting the rent...something is wrong with this picture.  i was given the offer to move out but in reality, that's an extra $500 in my pocket for not paying rent by rejecting.  plus, i can't risk getting havoc caught because of a landlord person.  thanks but no thanks :)

i decided to pick up a shift back at phuket thai.  i think i can.  the money will be nice.  i need to mentally prepare myself for this first!  3 jobs?!  can i do it?!?! 

rebirth

happy april and happy belated easter!

holy moly, it's been so long since i've made a post because crazy has my computer hostage! blogging on my cellphone is not an easy task...so many mistakes!

updates as of last post:

• i missed out on warrior dash. so far so good but still awaiting word from how i did. we'll see.
• decided to boycot shakeology at least for a couple of months to try idealshape. it's so much cheaper so i'm hoping for the best! time to reach my goals!
• work has been hectic. i need a vacay
• daddy is going to china for a few months....what to do with his apartment?! i hate having to check his mail every few days...bah humbug!

hmm...that's pretty much it! not much has changed i guess lol

second chances

i reapplied for allegient airlines again because it really was the crooked buttons that screwed me over the first time. gg website. your webmaster dude should get fired lol. anyway, i got an invite to their information session but it falls on the same day as warrior dash! fml. i've been looking forward to that event for months...i even had the costume planned out :( it should be a no-brainer to choose the job opportunity over a silly (but awesome) race but deep down i feel like i'm cheating on hawaiian. i don't want to just settle on any second-rate airlines when i really want to fly for hawaiian.

after a whole day of deliberating and consulting others for advice, i've decided to go ahead and go to that info session. i have nothing to lose, except $50 for warrior dash, but this could be my chance. according to a coworker, inflight will always be inflight. if i do get the job, this will give me more experience and hawaiian will always be there and the warrior dash probably won't be going anywhere anytime soon since hawaii had thousands of people registered. i can do this!

PS: my gym instructor got into hawaiian. starting next month, i am going to get fat. no joke. i take her class about 3 times a week. i owe my image and motivation to her. time to diet -_-

not meant to be???

maybe being a flight attendant isn't meant to be. i just applied for the allegiant airlines FA position that was stationed in hawaii and immediately afterward, i got an email saying thanks but no thanks. i guess the computers reviews the application and i may have put something that they didn't like. whatevers. i don't want to give up yet because this was a crappy sign.

work has been busy and i hate how i work early mornings every weekend. it's killing my fun :(

i tried two new restaurants this weekend: kaew's thai villa and the cattle company. thai food was okay but cattle company was great! holy smokes, so much food. it's a typical chain type restaurant so it's not much to look at but i highly recommend those coupons in the newspapers lol

storming

in the past couple of days, beautiful hawaii nei was not so beautiful. the weather was outrageous and i actually felt a little bad for the tourist. the rain was heavy and the light show was intense. regardless, we hardly have that so i loved every minute of it! when today was picture perfect, i was actually sad. i missed the rain...it's weird we hardly have heavy rains anymore. i remember the time when it rained for 40+ days. i liked it a lot because tennis would be canceled but the day after spring break was sunshine and blue skies...damn lol.

broke is what i feel. my credit card never goes down! why?!?! i "thought" i paid off my credit card in full the other day but when i checked today, i'm still $90+ deep! where did that come from?!?!?! some pending charge i thought was good?! i hate bills so therefore i retired my credit card til further notice :)

work has been really hectic. one of the old timers have been out sick so i've been getting the cherry shifts. my paycheck was amazing this time around and i suspect the next one to be good too! i hope they stay sick/take vacays more often ^_^

shakeology

happy march!!!

shakeology - a meal replacement/snack beverage that is suppose to change my life.

i bought a 30 day supply bag for $125. so far, it's been day 4 and i think it's pretty good. it gets me full and i feel my digestion has been a lot better. it's so expensive but i'm trying to decide by the end of the 30 day trial if i want to stay on it. i need to get myself a blender cup or at least a blender -_-. it's hard to shake that stuff up with a water bottle but it gets the job done.

three months have passed already. girl's day has come and gone. crazy! this year looks promising still and i can't wait :)

can do attitude

sooooo...i didn't get through very far in the hawaiian airlines interviews. i was crushed beyond crushed. it felt like a bad break up. i sulked for days. but you know, the littlest encouragement goes a long way. i was watching tv one night in tears and a commercial from new hope came on. the pastor said to keep following your dreams. that was enough for me to be inspired all over again. i don't want to lie on my death bed regretting that i didn't try hard enough to chase my dream...i can do this!

life is good now. i am blown away how far your mind's willpower can take you. it can fight through all sorts of physical and emotional pains. a strong mind makes for a stronger self. it really is all in your head. the sun always shines tomorrow.

mardi gras

boy, this month has been hectic crazy. work has been working around the clock and my social life keeps me busy in between. regardless, it has been an amazing month!

this past weekend was the PCC field trip for yelp! i had a great time with allison and we really enjoyed the men of Ha ;) i learned this really cool story of this mountain formation which i will share to others if i ever drive down that side. it was fascinating lol.

the GAR was yesterday and i did my personal best. 1:25! i ran the entire length with absolutely no training. honestly, it's amazing how far a little mental motivation could take me. i just kept telling myself to keep going and what are my goals, why are you here?! i'm so fricken sore now. i don't remember it being this bad other years but it's probably because i overworked my body to keep going. how the hey am i gonna survive the marathon?! i wanted the GAR to be my time of liberation once again but that didn't happen. i didn't have much more mental capacity left between pushing myself to finish and to contemplate life.

for the first time in my life as legally able to drink, i have no desire to drink anymore. it's weird because i never crave to have an alcoholic beverage. what happened!? it happened after olivia's last night in hawaii....damn, that girl ruined me @_@ maybe one day i'll get it back but i want to ween off alcohol for lent so i guess today's my only day to indulge being that it's mardi gras and all.

hawaiian airlines interviews are this thursday! i am excited because i feel confident but at the same time i have no expectations. i really want this! praying hard for God to guide me to success :)

dreams

happy february!

the month has gone by so quickly! time needs to wait for me to catch up! valentine's day is around the corner and so is the super bowl! i hope i can win my $15 that i have down on the pats. kevin, you're going down with your $5. kthx. also up on the feb agenda is the GAR. i'm so out of shape in running that it's making me a bit nervous. i hope all the cardio i've been doing at the gym will help me in the end.

koko head has been the highlight of my week. i went THREE times in three days. that's the most i've ever done it but that's because people wanted to go with me on their first time ;) i think i'm an awesome motivator...i don't give up on people even if it takes us 3 hours to go up and down. tanning time for me :P

i applied for hawaiian airlines...again. this time i am extremely nervous, i think i really want it badly. i'm also considering applying for the firefighter position that recently opened up. as i was telling my coworker, i believe i have a better chance at getting into the fire dept. than i do at hawaiian mostly due to workplace diversity lol. times like these, shades are necessary because the future is looking bright :)

PS: thanks leon for the hunger games recommendation. i'm really into it although it took me about two weeks to read six chapters lol.

escapee!

holy crap, i had no idea my dad was so crazy. kuakina hospital finally sent him to a nursing home on the pali and it seemed like a nice place. he had his own room and private bathroom. three meals a day and multiple activities throughout the day, sounds pretty sweet for an oldie. well, after we all left, i got a call from the head nurse that my dad had tried to escape!!! WTF. well, he was being so annoying and wild, he broke a window and they had no choice but to kick him out. GG father.

during that time, i had to meet an attorney regarding my dad's medicaid qualifications and the reverse mortgage and how to be able to keep the apartment at least. shit, lawyers are fucken expensive. just for the process of transferring deeds, the power of attorneys, medicaid forms and etc will cost a flat rate of $15,000. YES, FIFTEEN GRAND!!! like, seriously, wtf. but this could go in our favor in the end since they practically have a 100% success rate with medicaid but now the only challenge is getting my dad on board. the lawyer was so great at explaining everything and i feel so much more educated in this and it gave me peace of mind knowing how to overcome these challenges. besides the hurdle of getting my dad coverage, i have to worry about how the heck am i gonna pay off the apartment once my dad goes into a home....whenever that would be. i found out he's actually not opposed to the thought of a nursing home but just that particular one. i don't understand because my aunty is staying at their sister location so they're pretty much the same company. weird.

the situation is much more complicated that i could express into words but i'm confident things will work itself out. this is a great learning experience but it sucks how it's happening and it's so early on.

no one ever said life is easy...

hardest thing

i feel that it's not right to be making such decisions at the age i'm at. i'm too young and inexperienced to understand what is going on. i've never felt so lost and helpless in so long. my dad's been the hospital for almost a week now and it doesn't seem like he will be going home anytime soon. the best we could do is send him to a nursing home but sooner or later, we have to find solutions to pay for it. like most people, my dad didn't plan for the long term and ended up screwing himself over with the reverse mortgage. because of this, i have to go to lawyers and whatnot to figure out a plan. i was listening intently to my cousin explain to me the process and what i would need to do and it was just so overwhelming. i don't know all of these forms and what kind of information is important or not.

for now, i'm just trying to gather my thoughts and move on. i will figure something out...life tends to fall into place. regardless, i'm glad my dad is doing better but it's still hard to tell if his health will deteriorate further. scary stuff.

out with the old and in with the new

happy new year 2012!!!

this is year is gonna be epic! 2011 went by so fast, especially the later half of the year. so far, not much has happened this year except i got to hang out with awesome people! it's so nice to see so many people back from the mainland, just like the good old days.

i ordered my new phone online and i'm excited to get it soon. i'm also gonna exchange this gift for a watch that counts my calories and monitors my heart. i really think i had the best christmas ever even though i spent it working lol.

finally, i found a new song that's worthy to be placed on my blog. the green - come in feat. jacob hemphill of SOJA. i'm obsessed with this song lol.