idk what to say really. please dont feel sorry for me because i am over the pity. i lived and i learned and unfortunately the end result is that i am less trusting. i was a believer and i held on to every strand of possibility even though i KNOW i wont get my way. bring back on the mind games because it is my only defense for my heart. im happy to have the strength to avoid temptation but it was heartbreaking nonetheless. its ok because life definitely goes on. i dont regret anything and i am not angry anymore. im immune to the pain. it really seems like the story of my life, like its a major theme. its going to be fine since it might turn me back to the person i used to be; strong, independent, and motivated. until then, i will smile because it boosts my endorphin levels even though it may be a total front.
well, after a whole sleepless night, i find myself STILL confused as to what i want. maybe ill join the gym earlier than expected to fill my void. gosh i hate this state of mind and stage of my life!! maybe im not a risk taker. possibly i am weaksauce. idk if this is a risk i am willing to take because it hits so close to what i went through...
the end.
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